It all became so impersonal so fast.
2 years ended in a few mere texts?
I thought it was more important than that.
But how am I supposed to feel when you tell me to see other people?
I feel guilty every day, just for having fun without you.
How could I ever possibly find a love like ours?
I thought you would eventually come to understand and meet me in the middle. (Like it’s goin out of style)
How can I replace the person who helped create my dreams? Who had so much of my future?
I would beg and plead if only I could see you, but I know you would still see a face that isn’t mine.
And how can You love someone who makes You feel loathing with every glance?
I regret with constant sorrow that I could ever make anyone feel so betrayed.
How do I live life now?
All of my plans are open and it is a terrifying world without you.
Will my life derail without you, or prosper?
I question if You will ever love me again the way I cannot stop loving you.
What if you find someone else?
The thought of that makes me want to punch a wall because I know it’s all my fault. The awful irony of it all.
What if I made the biggest mistake of my life and You never come back?
All of these questions weigh down my heart, I can feel them coursing through my blood.
I guess my only option is to keep doing what I do?
If not I spiral downward for another two months.
I wanted to fight for you so badly, protest it all!
But I could tell by your perfectly worded text that this was not a new thought.
How pathetic would I be in your eyes then?
I suppose Your image of me is already tainted.
When will I be able to listen to music again without crying?
Music always felt like my biggest connection to you.
Hopefully I can become a happy, hardworking recluse long enough for all of these questions to be answered.
I truly believe that I am the one who needs fixing and that it can be done, I know I am strong because of You.
And when the time is right God will give us both excited peace in knowing that we are ready to be together and share that intense love again.
I know my heart will mend faster than yours.
But my questions lessen and lessen each day.
Even each stanza.